BIRTH OF FIRST LOVE

LOVE         LOVE      LOVE     BIRTH - FIRST - LOVE    LOVE      LOVE       LOVE   

                                                             



 What is it? How do you express it, much less define it? The universal theory of love, relationships, and lust have been on the minds of people since the beginning of time. How do you explain it?  Dickinson, a poet of the 19TH century, described love as "An anterior to life". Many theorists and researchers, as well as the common BOY or GIRL, have their own definition of love. Explanations, experiments, and all types of opinions have been offered on the concept of LOVE, and who's lives it takes over and why.

According to  a theorist from the mid-twentieth century, early adulthood (ages 19-35) is a time of intimacy vs. isolation. Erikson argues that during the later years of adolescence and early adulthood, individuals must develop the ability to form deep, intimate relationships with other people. This theory is not directed specifically toward sexual intimacy, but toward forming long-lasting emotional bonds with another person. Erikson also said that people that do not form these long-lasting relationships will live their lives in loneliness or isolation.

Another theorist, ELLEN , described four different kinds of love. THOSE are:

• Altruism,      which is love in the family setting.
• Friendship,   love which has the qualities of enjoyment attachment and devotion.
• Romantic      love, which is defined in layman's terms as "falling in love", and
• Affectionate  love, which includes companionship and loyalty.

According to Ellen Berscheid, almost every middle-aged or older-aged adult could say that they have had at least one or two types of love . While interviewing my mother, Dr. Shelley Kaufman, a local clinical psychologist, I found that she had at least three of these types of relationships. "All of my relationships have not ended on a strong note, but I have done my best to learn from them and bring the strengths into my current relationships now, and change the things that I did wrong." Knowing that not all of my mother's relationships ended well taught her to build stronger relationships throughout her adulthood years. "My family and friends are the most important aspects in my life. I built a strong bond with my parents, and it was strong until the day that they died." Building vital and strong emotional ties and relationships is the most important choice in all of your life.

Another theorist, ROBERT , advanced the Triangular Theory of Love. From this theoretical approach, love is comprised of three main entities:

• passion,
• intimacy, 
• commitment.

Passion is described as physical and sexual attraction toward another person, while intimacy is defined as emotional warmth and closeness. Commitment is defined as the intent to build a long term relationship, and to stay in the relationship even when problems arise. Sternberg argues that love relationships can be described according to which of these three entities are present in the relationship. In all, there are seven forms of love.

Trying to SEARCH LOVE  is a universal act that all young adults eventually engage in. It is not an easy task. Several factors are present when trying to find "the one". For example, some people might focus more on physical attractiveness, while others are more interested in a happy, out-going personality. Others look for money, or sexual compatibility. While love is unique to each person, the following four factors have been identified as being critical in mate selection.

• Proximity
• Similarity
• Reciprocity
• Complementarity

No matter what one is looking for, there are typically things in a relationship that are challenging. Love does not come easy, it takes a significant amount of work. Whether it is love at first sight, love after two months or ten years, there are thousands of ways that people fall in love. Although people are trying to explain, predict, and even control love, it seems love finds a way to take over our lives and no matter what, it will always exist.
There are scientific ways to define love, but there are also society's stereotypes of the way things should be. For instance, for some people love is happiness, and for some love is misery, and sometimes love is both. But for many young adults, love brings happiness, companionship, and togetherness. It isn't always fun, and love doesn't always have a happy ending, but it all seems to be for the best. For many young adults in this day in age, love is the building block for the rest of their lives.

What is important in a good love relationship? How can you make your love relationships better?

"The Art of Staying Together: A Couple's Guide to Intimacy" written by Michael. S, expresses his idea of what it takes to keep a relationship running smoothly and what the factors are that make up a good relationship. Some key factors include:

• Both partners having the knowledge and recognizing that an issue that effects one of the partners, affects both at the same time.
• Both partners value the relationship; recognizing and fulfilling the needs of the partner.
• Both partners consider the long-range best interest of the other.
• Both partners like, respect, and trust each other.
• Both partners have some degree of self-reliance and share power equally.
• Both partners give each other privacy, as well as the attention and responsibility needed in the relationship.